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Monday, September 28th, 2009
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8:57 am - What Do You Least Expect To Find In The Halls Of An Elementary School?
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The Man sez: So there's been some weird biz going on at work. By "weird biz", I mean that twice now we have found things that belong in the bathroom trash far away from the bathroom trash, specifically in the hall be the art room. The first was a dirty infant diaper. I didn't find it so I wasn't as grossed out as with the second item, a used tampon, which I personally found. Vom City. I cannot come up with a viable scenario as to how that tampon got there. It wasn't wrapped in toilet paper nor did it look like it had been, uh, out in the wild long enough for it to have come from one of the morning care workers. Also, there are no staff bathrooms on that side of the building. And the older kids are in the classrooms upstairs. IT MAKES NO SENSE!
OMG Outer Banks was so fun! I like Alice's boy, Steve. They act really similar, too, but not in a creepy makes-me-vom sort of way even if it's fun to tease Alice that it does. The water was pool-temperature and, had I my contacts, I would've for-reals swum rather than just wade around. But I like wading around. I don't like getting water in my ears what with my crappy luck with adult ear infections. But it was a lot of the things I like - laying around watching Canadian comedy or extra informative depressing documentaries, wading through warm surf, eating raw cookie dough, drinking red wine, chatting, watching for shooting stars, flying kites, and other things that really, really aren't illegal in most states. Really. And it was just really fucking nice. I have a tough time just chilling and not being all wired like I usually am. I have a hard time turning off the serious and just being cool with shit. By Friday afternoon, I was cool with shit. I was really glad to have that time with Alice before she moved. I've sort of grown accustomed to not seeing her ever, but it was so nice to have a big chunk of time to just hang out. This is probably what it'll be like from now on, these concentrated doses of Alice.
Free movies have started back up again, which always makes me happy. And Korean class, that makes me happy as well.
Also, I'm surprised at how much I really love my new class. I had been worried all summer that I wouldn't get along with the other teachers as well as I had last year, but I had nothing to worry about. Any awkwardness is, admittedly, because I am awkward in general. Oh fuck, I just remembered that I haven't RSVPed to a coworker's kid's bar mitzvah!
current mood:  busy
current music: MAS4 - KPop Girl Power 2009 Mash-up
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| Tuesday, September 15th, 2009
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5:50 pm - Yes, There Is A "Twilight" Dildo
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The man sez: I'll try to get the link for it... The comments are beyond.
Pretty sure Hot Psych Dude is crushing hard on the amibavalent pixie nerd. He's been sitting closer and closer to her each week. I wouldn't call myself a body language expert but this is fairly obs. Oh well. He was blasting Carlos Santana on his pod and I just want a guy who has better taste in music than I do. Shallow but true.
Today was fucking CRAZY. Two words - no plumbing. One more - headbutt. All Imma say, bitches.
current mood:  hungry
current music: Koda Kumi "Physical Thing" (makes up for it)
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| Sunday, September 6th, 2009
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7:48 pm - Five Days Down, One Hundred Eighty Five To Go
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The Man sez: One of our new kids whom I will call Lachata (since I sing her name to the tune of that song) started off the week like a hellcat. I mean, this is a kid who wears clothes that fit a three year old and has the strength of a grown-up. On the first day, she managed to yank out some of my hair and rip a button off my shirt. Oh, and she gave me a nice red scratch across my chest. She's also hella funny. My favorite thing (which I have told to everyone) happens when she's flipping the fuck out over something (usually wanting a snack) - she'll pause and very calmly ask "What's the matter?" as though she didn't just have her fingers individually pried out of my ponytail. Gotta say, I never expected to learn so many self-defense techniques working in Special Ed. Seriously. Some of the things we have to do make me uncomfortable (like sorta jamming a finger into a kid's armpit when they drop and refuse to walk) but they're pretty handy should I ever find myself needing to, I dunno, coerce an unwilling party in my private life. Wow, that sounds kinky. I've also got a slightly better reaction time after having her for a week. She's one of those kids who has no self-preservation instinct and a really high pain tolerance. Lucky she's so tiny or I don't think I'd be able to catch her from bashing her teeth in as many times as I've had to. Lachata is going to be a challenge but I'm starting to get what my coworkers mean when they say that one of their students is "a really interesting kid".
Our PE teacher noticed that I'd lost a bunch of weight and asked "How do you feel?" I wasn't sure how to answer that. Was it how-do-I-feel about my confidence? Or about the physical benefits? I feel like a jerk because I get irritated when someone doesn't say anything but then I also get flustered and want to deflect when someone does say something. MAKE UP MY MIND, ME!! I also find that my metabolism became nonexistent, like, the day I started work. And my sleep is all fucked up, but no surprise there. I'd like to swim in Paula's mom's pool a ton but I don't want to impose too much and she's been really nice about letting me use it and I really don't want the only thing I accomplished this summer to slip away bit by bit. Stress is stressful.
In awexome news, MICHAL PASSED HER NURSING FINALS WITH A 99.9%!!!!!! I am so, so proud of you!.
current mood:  groggy
current music: The XYZ Affair "No One That You Love With Ever Die" (I wish...)
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| Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
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7:20 pm - Hard Work Is Hard
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The man sez: It's the total truth, y'all. Even though I spent the summer not working/lazing about or working half-days/lazing about, I put in a lot of hard work. *** Oh shit! I just spotted the super hot guy from my Tuesday class. Ugh, why is he so sexxxxy?!!!! NOTICE ME!!! *** I lost an s-ton of extra Liz, which is both exciting and disappointing. Exciting when I weigh myself and the number is lower or those cute jeans I bought two years ago that never really fit even when I got 'em can now be easily buttoned up. Disappointing when I still can't fit into those other jeans I bought that didn't really fit when I got 'em or when my coworkers (who are obsessed with losing weight) don't notice that there's noticeably less of me.
I didn't get into the Stat class I wanted and see no point in retaking it with the same guy from whom I was unable to learn on the last go-round. I was initially really, really bummed since it means I'll have to wait another semester. Then I realized it meant I could take Korean 1. I was nearly giddy with excitement. See, I've got such enthusiasm for languages that this extra work is a reward. Because I'll enjoy it. And I'm embarrassed at my pitiful GPA. It's such a train wreck. Bright sides, people. I'm all about bright sides.
current mood: groggy
current music: 2NE1 "I Don't Care"
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| Monday, August 24th, 2009
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12:58 pm - FuckMyLife.Com
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The Man sez: Well, it's actually "fmylife.com" but it's clearly in the spirit of the former. And, to be honest, it's not really so much "my life" as just me. Fuck me for being the neurotic loser I am. This is not a pity post because I just need to get my shit together now and not later like I keep expecting. I am really good at making an excuse as to why I can't do something when it needs to be done. If that were an actual talent that might somehow benefit me, excellent. But it's not and I am in need of a radical personality change. I am trying, just not hard enough. And I don't know what would really help. Practice, I think. Practice seems to be the only way to get better at something for which you don't already possess the talent naturally. Not to get all scientific, but all the literature I've encountered in education supports the 'practice makes perfect' approach. People who end up excelling in things like sports or music didn't just wake up one morning with the ability to pitch a perfect curve ball or to bang out a flawless rendition of "Ode to Joy" on the piano. I'm not saying that we can all become amazingly super talents at everything. However, I know I can do better than I have in the past.
First, though, I need to get the professor to let me in to the already full class. Cue my ugly crying face.
current mood:  moody
current music: Mflo ft. Jaejoong & Yoochun "Been So Long" (wonderfully gay, gay, gay)
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